How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize