Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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