But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
