dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
