"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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