wanna go halves on a baby?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
