I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
