I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
