And the cops told us we were all naked.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
