I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
