why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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