yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize