drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
