And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
