I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
