He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
