Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
