Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
