So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
