I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
