You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
