I think I died a long time ago.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
