Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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