I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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