Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
