I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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