Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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