She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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