I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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