Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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