and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
