look no pants
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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