Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
