I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
