Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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