Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize