Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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