but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
