jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
