The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
