Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
