You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
