this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
