just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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