escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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