On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize