That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
