They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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