I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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