i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
