Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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