you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
