I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
