Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
