We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
