It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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