she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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