i think my tv is drunk
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize