then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize