I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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