You're my little dorito
love makes seman taste better
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How does it feel to date your dad?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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