I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
