Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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