I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize