Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
